Pi-i-can't-belive-i'm-watching-this-crapolaha. 3D.

Piranaha's 3D was one of the most ridiculous/theorectially possible worst case scenario movies i have scene in a while. WARNING: SOME PLOT SPOILERS FOLLOW. basically, everyone who you expect to live lives, and everyone you know is gonna die, dies. the ingenue, the young hero, his mother, his brother and sister, the old scientist, and the middle aged scientist live. with the exception of the last character in the last closing seconds, which was one of the more ridiculous plot twists. the biggest problem with this movie that was that it was in 3D. let me explain. the capabilities of the technology are so much more than what these movies are giving us. the same "scary" stuff coming out of the screen thats as old as the technology itself. the one movie thats really made use of the power and majesty thats capable in 3D is Pandora. which sucked plot wise, but had amazing sweeping landscape scenes that wouldn't have been capable in 2d. the other is the short before Toy Story 3, i believe it was called night and day. it was the first really intelligent use of the mixing of 2d and 3d animation, and everyone should/will see it when it comes out on DVD. but scary fish or a boat coming out at you is the same thing as the giant shark coming out at you in JAWS 3D. Final destination used the same technique, and i know Saw 3D will too. its cool in concept, but very very stale in practice. now the storyline is slightly plausible at parts. college kids come to a lake and a huge school of piranahas show up and all hell breaks loose: pretty plausible. a beer bottle falling to the bottom of a lake and opening up a crevice that reconnects a 15 million year old lake, completely ridiculous. techtonic and erosive activity would have done that long before a beer bottle would. but the biggest turn off in this movie was the horrible way people died, and the amount of insane wounds that people endured. pulling torsos out of the water, while the people moan, a girl getting split in half by a sound cable, and a girls face getting ripped off b/c her hair got caught in a boat propeller borders on snuff film. now i know its all fake, i've got a theatre degree. fake blood and guts is nothing new to me. but to pack that much carnage into one film made me almost sick to my stomach. i can stomach/enjoy the saw movies. it was almost as bad as the happening. i say almost b/c at least this movie has a plot, crazy as it seems. (If Devil turns out to suck, I'm swearing off M. Night Shamalyan movies for life). all in all it was a tit sprinkled gore fest, with lame 3d tactics and pretty much 1d acting. i mean i love the lead from Party Down, who doesn't like Elizabeth Shue, and cameos by both Christopher Lloyd and Richard Dreyfus are great, but with a terrible monster movie script, you cant really expect much. Hope Monsters turns out as good as Cloverfield without the handycam hangover!